Mission: Semi-Accomplished!

I know I've been incredibly remiss. In my defense, I forget I'm even alive these days, honestly.

Oh, hey, I GOT MY IRANIAN PASSPORT, bitches! My dad went on a business trip to DC and he hand-delivered my application and talked to the embassy in person. They gave him my new passport the same day! Since it is the law in Iran for all single females to have their paperwork done by their fathers, we think that's why this part of the whole process went so quickly. Since, literally, my dad was filing the paperwork in person, they made it happen. If I had mailed it in as a single female, I probably would be waiting another year and, even then, they'd probably only communicate with my father and leave me out of it. Lovely system they have over there. I'm 33 and my dad is my keeper. Hey, at least I finally got my passport (even though it's been almost 2 years since I first started this process!). So now I just have to buy a plane ticket and arrange my schedule so I can go to Iran!

On another note, Shahs of Sunset is finally starting to get good and juicy! The last episode was full of really nasty things that only Persian people would say to each other. Reza has currently set up an alliance with Asa (somebody needs to let them know that this is not Survivor), which means they can control everything, from un-inviting GG to Cabo, to calling MJ a pill-popper. It's really mean and, again, only a turn in events that Persians would plot. I used to think Lilly was harmless... until this episode when she twists all of poor MJs words and makes her into an outcast. Potentially the best part of the episode however was the conversation about "golden penises" ("doodool talah"). It's true that it is totally commonplace for an average family to talk extensively in casual conversation about their sons as Golden Penises. No wonder we have so many asshole men: They were raised to think their dicks are made out of gold.

I am currently going on dates with a Persian I will call "N." It's a long story and I'm not particularly serious about this guy, but it has led to lots of discussion of Shahs of Sunset. Last night, we went to a Persian restaurant with his cousin and I think we talked about Shahs of Sunset for at least half an hour. Mostly, we digressed on how horrified our parents are with the show (all of us have watched the show with our doting mothers). Personally, when I was home during Christmas, I watched with my mother the scene where Reza goes to pick up gay boys at the local club. She started crying about how she sacrificed so much to live in the United States and now the entire world would think this is what Persians were like. It warmed my heart that she cared so much. I know they have casted the scum of the earth for this show, but I still think it's great that Iranian Americans are in pop culture at all, regardless of how they are portrayed. Talking to N's cousin, I asked him what kids in Iran thought of the show so far. He informs me that it hasn't hit Tehran yet, but to check back in a few months. All of us were equally fascinated with figuring out just how scripted the show is also. I still love MJ, no matter how much they try to smear her.